The Pews

I cry for all the things we’ve lost without reason 

Not everything had to go with the change of seasons 

Now this holy water runs with sin

But we anoint ourselves anyway   

I wish better times brought me back into your arms 

But I came to carve our names into the back of a church pew 

To try to make us holy again

Even as sin still stains the hands we try to pray with 

The priests said they’d forgive us our sins

But they’re just men like us

And I said I’d do better next time but here I am again

If I thought heaven was real, maybe I would’ve tried a little harder 

I pray into the darkness hoping for answers

And light incense until my lungs are thick with it

But all I hear is my mortality ticking away 

I’m impatient 

I can’t stand the silence 

It’s louder than the gospel choir used to be 

And all the fractured light is competing with the stained glass reflected in my eyes

Leaves me like a ghost in the pews

Haunting our old house of worship 

Until there’s nothing sacred left here

I’m down on bended knees 

But I don’t think anyone’s coming to absolve my sins this time 

I’ve got to get out of here

I’ve had enough of bare skin on wood floors 

And confessionals with empty forgiveness

Committing sins in the name of all things sanctified  

We called this house a temple

But we were both worshiping other gods 

We just speak words now, parading like it’s prayer 

If there’s a God out there

Tell me, am I beyond your love now?

You gave me the 10 commandments

And I took it like a checklist 

Making misery of your holy laws 

You promised your love was eternal

But now my souls in shambles 

Will you still love the tatters left behind?